Breakfast:: 
-1 Packet of oatmeal Regular Flavor-- 100 cals with water
-1 Orange-- 62 cals 
-1 Banana-- 121 cals

Lunch::
-1 cup Strawberries-- 77 cals
-1/2 a cup pineapple-- 70 cals
-1 small apple -- 55 cals

Dinner::
-Salad w/ 2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar dressing -- 45 cals
-Bag of carrots -- 35 cals  
  
581 calories total! 
Burn: 1000 on elliptical.
-500 cals

Goal for today: Smile & clean everything. Finish Report.  Drink lots of water. DONT purge.

 I've been liquid fasting for 3 days now. I never make it past day three... but I will this time. I feel sick, I practically slept all through day 2. Ha, im so fucking tired and weak. Does it get easier after day three? 

To do list: 
- Finish Science booklet 
- Take TONS of notes on history report and outline
- Clean room, finish washing sheets, clean bathroom. 
- Do Algebra Work.
- Core ball work out
- 1000 crunches
- 10+ minutes on the elliptical
- Paint Nails 
SLEEP

New,  fresh, start... <3 

I 'm starting this month off right by fasting. Doesn't it seem like JUST yesterday it was April 1st? Hmm.. 

Well good luck lovies, and start your day off right! How are you all today?

Argh, I have to go take a shower in like half an hour and then leave for school. I'm so fucking tired. Oh well. 

One more test today and then its the WEEKEND! Yay! : ) 

So,  I'm having tea and water today. Ooh, and gum. Nothing else. 

I have to clean my room and bathroom when I get home, and do around 1000 crunches. Maybe go for another run, or play ddr. 

Argh, I'm hungry... I ususally like the feeling, but right now it's tempting me to eat. But... I dont want to loose this feeling. 

Im such a fat ass... a beached fucking whale. My legs are huge, I swear. They're like... BAM! Argh. 

Okay well... I'm going to go. Thanks for reading<3; xx

Stay strong.     

I'm fasting today..., and forever. No more than 50 cals; 100 MAX.

It's 3:47AM right now... and I gotta wake up at 7AM. Joy. 


Okay, so like im 144 pounds right now(damn). 

Ok, so here's my PANIC! thinggie :

So.. you want to eat? Are you kidding me?! Do you really want to put that nasty shit into your mouth... imagine it going through you and hanging onto your skin, making you fatter and fatter. You don't REALLY want it. So, go sip some water..., or write in this journal. Reply to LJ comments, take a nap..., or maybe get off your fat ass and go for a run, or do some crunches, or play DDR. Because you know what? You can't eat. You can't stick that nasty ass shit into your mouth.. because that's what it taste like.. SHIT and failure. Dog shit... that's what it taste like. So, dont eat it. You are so much better than food, food doesn't control you. 



Eat to live, but live to eat.    

Goodnight loves; xx

and I can't sleep. I can NEVER sleep, and I'm always tired... but my mind wont shut up so I can fucking sleeeeppp..

I have no energy, and I'm so fucking dead tired. I have testing at school tomorrow, and that SUCKS because again (I posted yesterday) I have hardly anything to wear. Not that anyone notices what I wear anyways, I'm practically invisible [ But I like it that way... ]

I can FEEL the fat hanging off of me; on my face, my legs, hips, stomach, neck, arms..... it's making me sick and I just want to cry, and scream, and tear it all OFF. I want it GONE. Stupid food, how does it have such control over me? How can it make my life this way, so miserable.

Yet, if food didn't exist... I would have never met you all. I don't know how life would have been without food to taunt me, and for me to either give in or to reject it and feel good about myself... or to end up at the end of the toilet with a fucking toothbrush down my throat.

I hate myself. I can't imagine myself without being this way... this is me, and without it... I'm practically nothing.

I'm not talented, I'm not smart, I'm not pretty... I'm not loved. I'm not anything, except maybe a little psycho... ha ha.

But, the funny thing is, I like it this way. I like the fact that I lock myself in my room for hours a day hiding in my bed, reading your post... and feeling like I'm not alone... that if anything ever happens, I always have you. I love you all to death, I just hope you all realize that. Please say safe and strong, and never give up. I love you all so much, you are all so brave and beautiful, I admire you. < 3

I've decided to cut food out of my life totally. I see it... as an addiction. Food is an addiction, like smoking, and I need to stop cold turkey. They say to stop smoking you replace it with something. Obviously my replacement will always be exercise and water. If I get hungry, exercise or gulp down water till I puke. I will lock myself in my room, I cant Binge anymore. I can't purge anymore... so I'll just take food out totally.

It will be hard, and it will HURT like hell, but I will trap myself in my room like I always do, a coward, fearful of food.

I wont let that disgusting junk into my mouth... all it does is clog my arteries and makes me sick... physically and mentally.

Nothing will touch my lips but water and toothpaste... and I will be empty... and the emptiness will engulf me and take away all my pain.

I will see and fill my bones, I will be fragile and weak, I will love myself and the number on the scale... I will become perfectness before fading into nothingness.

Love you all, stay strong &It;3 xo

-bri

*end of rant* 

Brianne (First name), Ashley (Second name);


Bri ((bree,brii,briianne-ashley,ashely,etc.etc.))
1. Briianne-Ashley is a Tree Hugging, animal loving, vegan... obsessed with food and organics. 
2. It takes Briianne-Ashley about 1 hour to eat a cup of food. She picks up the spoon/fork, chews her food entirely, sets it down, drinks her water... continues. 
3. Briianne-Ashley is extremely fat, even though she has around 50 cals or less daily. 100 cals if she is being bad, which she usually ends up purging. 
4. Briianne-Ashley's bedtime is usally around 3AM-6AM....
5. Briianne-Ashley is TERRIFIED of food. She knows it wants to kill her... 
((To be continued..)) 

Okay, so hey! I'm Brianne-Ashley. 

I figure I gotta start posting in this thing daily. So yeah, here I gooo.... 

It's around 2:38AM right now.. I go to bed in like 20 minutes. Yay me!?!? Argh, I hope I can sleep. I'm dead tired. 

I have school tomorrow ((this fatass doesn't wanna leave the house)) to take tests. Thank Goth Friday is my last day... < 3 

Okay, so like I can have green tea tomorrow. I'm CRAVING it, and I want it soooo bad, so I can have it.   

RuL3z:
 

* I ONLY eat fuits and veggies (vegan) and no more than 100 cals a day. Cut the fruit / veggie into small tiny pieces and chew each bite until completely disolved. Put spoon/fork down and drink 2 sips of water. Start again. 

MY OKAY LIST:
* Diet soda. (0-5 cals)
* Water. (0 cals)
* Gum. (5 cals)
* Lemon. (17 cals )
* Splenda. (0 cals)
* Green Tea. ( 0 cals)
* Crystal light and other 5 cal drinks. ( 5 cals)
WEEKENDS: Apples(75), oranges(60), cucumber (30 for large), strawberries (4 a berry), lemon (17 cals) 

No food unless on weekends. No more than 20 cals a day.  

* I Purge everything I eat, so I don't gain and continue to be hungry. 

* Burn ATLEAST 400 cals a day. 

*  If I need to binge run or go to sleep.
To Be Continued..

Okay, well I gotta get ready for bed... Love you all that are reading this. 

Nighty Night!! <3xx